I am not special, I am unique

After All this Days... I'm still jealous of him...he did what I didn't , he got what I wished for... I knew I'm was never better than them.. You gave me the strength to Prove myself wrong. You gave me hope.. Hope that I didn't have.. You may not know.. I went to
Learn how to draw manga because of you.. I wanted you to give me some spare time. Since you were always reading manga, I thought I could make
A small manga myself. What I wanted to say, what I want you to know..all in it so you could read it.. I gave up.. I know I gave up too early.. But I just feel all my hopes are lost.. since 21 of November... I got the chance to sit with you... But it didn't felt like I wanted... We didn't even talk in the movie.. That was the closes 1.45/- hours I had with you ... I wanted to sit with you so badly... I was so
Excited... But I did nothing there... I feel so dumb .. I didnt even dare to lean towards you.. Was it because of his presents? Or just me? ...
I didn't want you to be stressful... So I didn't want you to take the tuition on Sundays. I remember when we broke up.. You said being together with me feels stressful.. And you didn't like to be so stressful... So we broke up... I don't know if that is the reason or not but I trust you and I don't want to see you juggling between studies and relationship. I know I'm selfish, I can feel it.. I hate myself more and more Next year we would go into separate classes... You said we can still see each other during recess or after school. But I just feel so sad not being with you.. I told myself it's not the time for you to have a new relationship. I won't ask you till the time is right .. At the middle of midnight and morning ... I look at the photos I took of you... I told myself never to cry for anyone... Well.. I guess you're a exception.. Whether it's a tear of joy or saddness as long it's for you.. I wouldn't mind...
If you know me well... I'm that kind of
Person who acts brave when you dont know me... But damn.. Im a coward.. I can only say, You changed my life...