I am not special, I am unique

Have you had a chance to think before you act in the world we live in? I try to predict moves of many things in life. From small things like ant's movement to things like whether it would rain later and at times what my friends are thinking. I find myself thinking a lot when I shouldn't and don't think when I need to. Its when the big choices comes by, choices we have to decide that would judge what we will become, that we find ourselfs lacking time to ponder. Why is it that the world is made by choices. Events that only the clever, that are able to make the right choices quickly or the lucky, thay makes choices that are, well, based on luck. Those who are slower or makes the wrong choices are the ones you see dying on the road, starving under hdb blocks, fighting just to survive. The world is like a game, we are the players. A game in which people makes decisions that will decide upon what they would become. Should this be though? A world that revolves around a big question mark. That's not for us to decide. Had you made wrong choices in life? I know I have, but I learn from it. Yes I do repeat my mistakes many many times. Ask ada she would know. My grandmother was admitted to hospital. She was diagnosed to have cancer. She is still standing strong in terms of will but no longer have the strength to stand. I have no idea how bad her conditions is, only my uncle do. But he doesn't want to say. It may be my last few months or years with her. I want to score well for my exams. I want my grandmother and my family to see that I can be at the top and I am finally after all that they aspire, to be a son that they can be proud about. Its not to brag but to stand firm among my relative. So what of y parents didn't have education that You do? At least they are able to educate me and build me into something you obviously have desired but failed. I am sorry ada...I am having mixed feelings now. I am worried about my grandmother everytime I text a friend.. I become so emotional and I just don't want to ruin others especially yours.