3:20 AM
Dear Blog, It's been quite some time hasn't it? Well, Better late than never I guess. Yesterday was a fun and exciting day. Managed to have bbq and drinks that almost got me dead. Took my first "GrabCar" ride today too! Since I'm writing on this ancient blog, you probably know I'm back in my lows. I am not happy anymore, I don't find joy doing anything. Going out with friends, playing games doing sports etc etc. I don't feel none of it. I was so desperate I even went jogging. Shocking isn't it?
Well moving on, I don't feel like the same anymore. I keep looping in circles. There are times that I want to be a better, more caring and thoughtful to the people around me. Then there are times that I really just don't want to give two sh*t with people and just do what I deem right and fitting. This two phases just keeps cycling through my life over the last few months.
I don't wanna make people think I'm over-helpful and take advantage of me but I hate to make people think I'm a changed person. Since I've kept so many things up my mind I though "Hey maybe writing it out would make me feel better" Never worked before but worth the try since I've got nothing to lose.
The following is going to hurt a lot of people and shock a lot of people too. Please be prepared to think of me differently.
I know I am a bitch when it comes to accepting faults. I always make it sound like I feel like I'm right. I am trying to solve this issue, bare with me.
I hate the fact people play with feelings of people. If you are in a relationship, please fucking commit your time. If there's someone trying to keep the show running and you are there flirting around getting "targets" on standby so you can have a quick switch, YOU SIR or MDM, deserve a slap across your face cause you are a F*CKING DIRTBAG.
Well moving on, I don't feel like the same anymore. I keep looping in circles. There are times that I want to be a better, more caring and thoughtful to the people around me. Then there are times that I really just don't want to give two sh*t with people and just do what I deem right and fitting. This two phases just keeps cycling through my life over the last few months.
I don't wanna make people think I'm over-helpful and take advantage of me but I hate to make people think I'm a changed person. Since I've kept so many things up my mind I though "Hey maybe writing it out would make me feel better" Never worked before but worth the try since I've got nothing to lose.
The following is going to hurt a lot of people and shock a lot of people too. Please be prepared to think of me differently.
I know I am a bitch when it comes to accepting faults. I always make it sound like I feel like I'm right. I am trying to solve this issue, bare with me.
I hate the fact people play with feelings of people. If you are in a relationship, please fucking commit your time. If there's someone trying to keep the show running and you are there flirting around getting "targets" on standby so you can have a quick switch, YOU SIR or MDM, deserve a slap across your face cause you are a F*CKING DIRTBAG.
This had been kept years but hey since I'm trying to offend everyone I know, might as well.
I f*cking hate people who toy with other's feelings, and that is especially when it comes to someone I consider my life**(More on this). You dont fucking do this to people, and you should really f*cking think twice. If you don't think you want to be in someone's life forever then DON'T F*CKING START INVADING THEIR LIFE. You know for goddamn well that you like to flirt with people, and you know for sure this is gonna backfire real quick. If someone actually falls for you great, I also recommend getting a specialist to get her eyes checked cause girl YOU BLIND.
so yeah, my closest buddies and my most hated classmate, I'm looking at you.
After bitching about people invading people's life, I feel bad for doing almost the same thing. For like a week or two I made friends with someone I never expect to befriend with. We talked a sh*t load and it was so much fun. Responsibilities came and we slowly part ways but I look forward to doing it all over again.
I f*cking hate people who toy with other's feelings, and that is especially when it comes to someone I consider my life**(More on this). You dont fucking do this to people, and you should really f*cking think twice. If you don't think you want to be in someone's life forever then DON'T F*CKING START INVADING THEIR LIFE. You know for goddamn well that you like to flirt with people, and you know for sure this is gonna backfire real quick. If someone actually falls for you great, I also recommend getting a specialist to get her eyes checked cause girl YOU BLIND.
so yeah, my closest buddies and my most hated classmate, I'm looking at you.
After bitching about people invading people's life, I feel bad for doing almost the same thing. For like a week or two I made friends with someone I never expect to befriend with. We talked a sh*t load and it was so much fun. Responsibilities came and we slowly part ways but I look forward to doing it all over again.
** Time passes and I felt like the word "Love" becomes heavier and heavier. Saying that you are my love just don't feel right. I see slow and small improvements between the two of us but I just don't feel like I can engage with you and expect the same enthusiasm in return. I know some things about you but that just get limited by the things that you wish to share. You are like a box that is locked up, inside holds a box, that holds another box that holds a box and so on. I lack the commitment and I just don't do this like I used to. I'm pretty sure you feel it too. I used to be have so much time for you but it just doesn't work anymore. I can't find a balance..You are a good friend of mine, I talk about all the bullsh*t that I experienced with you, it started as a mean to just freaking get a conversation with you. I am not trying to babysit you, I just want to spend time with you.
You gave me a tingle each time I visualise you in my head, it's so unique I can't even express it better. You can talk all the sh*t about me as you want, I don't mind as long you are talking to me. You don't know but I have a super low tolerance for insults, but as long it comes from you, I don't mind a single bit. I'm not even trying to pursue you to accept me to be your partner, I just want you to take me as a good friend so we can go out together and do sh*t together. I don't have to make you mine, I just have to make sure there's a smile on your face and that would be fine. That's all for now.
Okay back to offending people.
My Good friend, that is leaving soon. I am sorry I was harsh on you on countless occasions, but that's me and I don't feel like making a double standard for my buddies. You are a good buddy, and I will miss you. I hope you find someone that can treasure you and take you to places that we couldn't. Years to come, we shall meet again, so long for now my friend.
Well that shouldn't offend anyone, this should.
I have close buddies but they do not come perfect.
Let's name them A,B,C,D,E
My Good friend, that is leaving soon. I am sorry I was harsh on you on countless occasions, but that's me and I don't feel like making a double standard for my buddies. You are a good buddy, and I will miss you. I hope you find someone that can treasure you and take you to places that we couldn't. Years to come, we shall meet again, so long for now my friend.
Well that shouldn't offend anyone, this should.
I have close buddies but they do not come perfect.
Let's name them A,B,C,D,E
A, you are f*cking horrible, I thought you would work hard a bit since everyone is practically looking down on you but you can still be all blur sotong on syllabus a day before the paper. GOSH dude! Work on your sh*t for crying out loud. I don't want to see you be like a goddamn blur sotong again please.
B, you are not that dumb but why the hell are you always there to watch the world burn. Come on lah, you are indecisive and all your reply is "I don't know". A simple yes or not for something you definitely know and you can still answer the same bloody answer. All I can sense is the lack of trust you have with any of us. If you don't trust us, so be it. I am here to help, but not until you trust us.
C, you are full of excuses, just bloody get over the fact that you need help la. You act on hero for what? You like to point out our mistakes but everything you point out you do exactly the same. I don't want to be nicky picky with stuff like that but stop making me want to punch you would be a great start.
C, you are full of excuses, just bloody get over the fact that you need help la. You act on hero for what? You like to point out our mistakes but everything you point out you do exactly the same. I don't want to be nicky picky with stuff like that but stop making me want to punch you would be a great start.
D, your ego isn't the problem, your mentality is something I question. Are you sick bro?
E, my good and long buddy, if you can for ones just stop becoming a rude f*ck I would be happy.
as you can see, I've lost my stamina in ranting.(who knew that was a thing) it's been a long tiring day I really want to sleep. heartbroken? maybe. Tired of getting the same answer? Yes. Do I have a solution to the problems? No.
Good night everyone
as you can see, I've lost my stamina in ranting.(who knew that was a thing) it's been a long tiring day I really want to sleep. heartbroken? maybe. Tired of getting the same answer? Yes. Do I have a solution to the problems? No.
Good night everyone
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