I am not special, I am unique

Dear blog,
It seems like I've successfully screwed up again life. You know how sometimes you really feel and act differently? Maybe, just maybe, I've gotten used to doing that particular thing and living a day without it just doesn't feel normal. I start to wonder about stuffs and it boils up my eagerness to do it, but each time I think about just doing it, I freeze and can't get myself to do it. The fear, the fear of rejection, the fear of being a weakling, it tears me apart. I am sitting here confused, not about what has happened but how to end it.