There's this void in me that I can't find a way to fill. It's october now and yet I am still bummed out by my birthday back in febuary. I though " having no one to celebrate your 21st was terrible, im gonna make an effort to make everyone else enjoy theirs or at least made it memorable." so i tried really hard.
With each birthday over, i get more and more uncertained whether or not this was actually the way to fill my "void".
Yesterday we celebrated zhen yuan's birthday and i hit my all time low. I felt so broken, so sad and empty. There were unlimited amount of wholesome-ness and love but none filled that space.
Spent my sunday drinking left over beer and chips, confused.
I was surrounded with friends but I've never felt more lonely.
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